Times change. I still love magazines but now look for different things, while younger I looked for that perfect me located between the pages of jumping hot pink leg warmers and perfectly O shaped o- la- la- la-mouths. I wanted to be discovered like the Canadian supermodel Monika Schnarre. I wanted to be discovered, I really did. I met Monika twice: once when she was just starting out and she was signing Covergirl pictures at a mall in Mississauga, Ontario and the second time was during an appearance she was making at a local television station. She was gracious. I was happy to meet her again but was not as nervous and excited as I had been the first time. I was more nerve wracked the one day I saw my English professor, George Bowering, poet and author, even though I had graduated from University nearly twelve years before. Nerve wracked. Not fun at all.
I have landed in the lap of my first attempt at
meditation. Deepak and Oprah want us to
be fearless. Nerve wracked but for the right reasons, the butterflies in your
stomach that lead you to your purpose rather than to your undoing. I have never meditated before. I was randomly looking through my Twitter and saw FREE meditation: Oprah and Deepak – Desire and
Destiny – 21 Day Meditation experience.
This could not have come at a better time, life has been getting harder
for me, I don’t have as much stamina to just keep pushing myself when, in my
heart of hearts, I know that I am only weakening myself. The hustle of life is only on our own
shoulders. I just need to reconnect that hustle to my internal compass, the one
that knows where I should go, where the path, whether less traveled or more
traveled, is my path. Oprah and Deepak
assure me, and I do believe, that we each have our own Unique Purpose and it shouldn’t
be that hard or that impossible to reach our dreams. We just have to believe, be still, and listen
to the quickening of our hearts when they propel us towards more love, or at
least away from less of it.
We need to find our way, recognize when times change for
us, when maybe being a fun, fearless female isn’t as important as being a well
rested, somewhat calm and still fun mom with a healthy dose of fear. I’m not sure if Burt would do a spread in
Cosmo today, or if they would even have him, Cosmo is for the young. Lately I’ve been picking up Zoomer and Quill
and Quire.
The other day my tv stopped working and rather than trying to make it work, getting angry that it wouldn’t work and trying really hard to make it work, I bundled up and took a brisk walk along our local seawall where I was treated to the loveliest and craziest sight, a bird migration. It was National Geographic in action, in front of my eyes, and not on a tv screen. There they were, in the thousands, in the Pacific moving together, just knowing that they were supposed to go together and where they were supposed to go because they were born with an internal compass that is only reinforced by the flock. They all support each other in their trek. It is important for us to find those supports, those waves that take us one step closer to our south in our winter.
That long line in the water, that looks like a path, all birds.
